My experience: Growing up as a dark skin black girl

Hey guys! I didn’t expect to be back with a blog this month as I have been taking a break away from most socials so I can focus on getting these assignments over and done with early. It seems as if I’m always ‘taking a break’ from social media and that’s because I am. I feel as though I’ve explained why in one of my earlier blog posts so I won’t go into it. Well, I’m back because recently a topic on twitter surfaced regarding black girls, more specifically dark skin girls, and some of the tweets that were made about us years ago.

I’ve been planning to write about my experience growing up as a dark skin girl for a few months and possibly now could be the right time to talk about it. This is quite a sensitive topic for me so please bare with me as I just say everything, lay it bare and hope it all makes sense. It’s crazy because now I can’t imagine being anything but black but I didn’t always feel this way. Throughout primary school, I appeared to be a very confident girl despite how I was feeling inside. Back then, being a dark skin black girl wasn’t the easiest however being dark skin AND African was even harder. Do not forget, I’m talking from my own experience, no one elses. It all started with having an ‘African’ name. I can’t count how many times people especially teachers would get my name wrong. Now it wasn’t the fact that they were getting it wrong, it’s the fact that each time I would correct them they would laugh or say something along the lines of ”I’m never going to be able to say it”. It got to the point where I stopped correcting them and just let them call me whatever best suited them. I would dread registration and when I knew my name was coming up I would say it for them so they knew I was in. Most of you reading this will know my name is Farai (fa-rye) but for those who are new to my page – first of all, welcome, and yes now you know my name. Now I want to give you a few examples/different ways in which my name was said:

• Faray (not bad, this was close)
• Faria
• Ferrari
• Fry (yes, fry as in frying pan)
• Feria
• Fury

The list really does go on but these are the most memorable ones. Now, I’ll never forget the one summer I went to Zimbabwe for six weeks and when I returned to school, I of course got the comments about how black I was. It was picture day about a week or so later and after seeing how dark I looked, I vowed to make sure I wore a hat every summer. It was the comments on how dark my skin complexion was that I couldn’t bare and I’d just try to laugh it off each and every time.

High school came about and my name was no longer the bigger issue. Between the Years 7-9, I’ve lost count of how many times I was reminded of the fact that I was dark skin and less attractive in comparison to my friends. Bare in mind, I still tried to appear pretty confident as I was a people person. If an argument would occur between myself and another student I was called ‘blick’ or my skin colour would become a topic of discussion each and every time. This only ever came from mixed/black boys and girls and this is something I always found so confusing. I always wondered how someone who had black parents (some even darker than me) constantly insult the colour of my skin? In the beginning, it would get to me but me being me, I’d always try not to show it. After a while I became very desensitised to it all. I was a dark skin girl who hung around with non black girls 95% of the time, I just got along with them best. This isn’t to say that I didn’t have any black friends. Looking back there were little things I did such as going out of my way to not mention my middle name due to me feeling it was “too African”. There were definitely times where I questioned why I couldn’t be lighter. It’s weird because I didn’t crave attention nor did I go out of my way to get attention but it was as if me being ‘dark skin’ brought unwanted attention. Even typing all of this, I wish I knew then what I know now – that one day I’ll fall in love with my skin and not want to be any other complexion than black. To this day I’ll always remember how it made me feel. Thank God, I still remained a confident girl. I had more confidence then than I do now which is so strange.

It’s also weird that as years went by the same boys who insulted me now wanted to compliment the heck out of me. I find it funny, laughable really. I started to get the whole ‘you’re pretty for a black girl’ comment. At first I didn’t know how to take such a ‘compliment’ then I realised this was no compliment at all, they were in fact insinuating that it was uncommon for black girls to be pretty which was so far from the truth!

Due to my experience, there are little things I catch myself doing all because I wish someone had done the same to me at the time. I’ve always been someone who loves to compliment others, whether they’re my friend or even a stranger. I remember a couple months ago waiting in a queue and I came across this beautiful dark skin young girl; in all honesty I was in awe of her skin complexion. I questioned whether or not I should say something or just smile at her? I’m really not sure what smiling would’ve done but anyways long story short, I had to tell her how beautiful she was. I don’t know whether my comment had any sort of affect on her but if it did, I honestly hope she never feels anything less than beautiful.

Now as I said, this was simply my own experience. Everything I didn’t like about myself then, I now love, including my name. I’m so proud to be black and I’m proud to be African. It’s so important to love the skin you’re in, whether you’re black, white, asian, mixed race, yellow, green, whatever. May we teach the younger generation to always know their worth and be proud of the colour of their skin and where they’ve come from.

I’m going to leave you beautiful people with a bible verse I think fits perfectly with todays blog post:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well. – Psalm 139:14

I hope you all continue to remain safe and well! I’ll be back shortly. Don’t forget to keep updated with all of my posts, simply click follow!